I have to keep reminding myself that what I think I "miss" actually was never there in the first place. It doesn't happen that often now, but I still catch myself "missing" having a husband around to "look after me" or some such. Then I suddenly remember that I never really had any of those things I think I'm missing, and that somehow, just by my wanting them in my marriage and not getting them, makes me feel that loss as real. Actuality is, it is a loss of having someone concrete you can invest those "someone to look after me" feelings on, and with their loss ,the simple security of having those dreams is gone. (for now)
I know this, yet keep catching myself doing it.
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