Involve Bystanders Whenever Possible, It Distracts From The Real Issues

Richard, the 11 Stepper, sent me an email. Telling me he wanted a bicycle that he had given Paul, and the wedding present that cost him $500 back, because he feels it's "only right". I haven't responded, but only on the advice of my lawyer, who reminded me that the court will be mailing him the final papers this Friday! Thank God! The last time I heard from Richard was when he called me up on October 18, 2007, the day after his birthday, which birthday also happened to be the day that Paul got fired because he went to jail on a DUI, from the job Richard had convinced his own boss to give Paul. I didn't really expect an apology from Richard. But I also did not expect what he did say. The last words I heard Richard say were to the effect of "Of course I feel ^%$*&*&$ responsible!!!! I'M the one who had to pick up all the *(%*%$&$%$ pieces after YOU abandoned him!!!!" I hung up on him then, but had the courtesy to say that was what I was doing first. The balls on this guy! I guess he feels he doesn't have to ever make amends for the terrible things he does in life while NOT on drugs. And that my organizing, and financing, a $30,000 intervention and 90 day rehab program, and arranging plane fare to another state, all by myself, in under 14 days, all while waiting to find out if my embryo transplant had taken, was "abandonment". Maybe Richard's just angry that no-one ever did that for him. Well, Paul's family certainly never did that for Paul in the 45 years they watched him go down - but I did. Maybe he's angry because he thought that I would continue to pick up the pieces for Paul for the rest of my life, and now he feels responsible. He should realize he makes his own choices. Maybe I should write back and tell him I feel it's "only right" that he send me a $15,000 check for his half of "picking up the pieces". And that since I'm feeling generous, he can deduct the $200 I gave him as a wedding present, since I don't ask people to return gifts I freely gave. I can only assume that Paul has pissed him off again, and that is why he is trying to take it out on me. That's a family trait of theirs. When in pain, assuage it by inflicting pain on someone else, preferably not the one who caused the pain in the first place. Involve bystanders whenever possible, it distracts from the real issues.
Richard, before the intervention, said that Paul didn't need a 90 day program. And when Paul quit after 28 days, it was me who stuck to my guns. Paul broke the deal, so he didn't get to move back in with me. Yet Richard gave him a place to live, and a job. The chronic enabler. And he thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't just open up the door to Paul and say "all's forgiven". But Richard blamed me when Paul proved he had not changed with the DUI. When Richard told me after the intervention, quote, "Don't worry about Jimmy. I'll get that car back for you" he was lying to my face. Later, after I had to call the State Police and report the car stolen, Richard yelled at me that I had no right. That the car was Jimmy's and that Richard had loaned him the money to get it! Jimmy, for those of you who don't know, is the ex-felon brother who did over two years for multiple DUIs, who has no driver's license, drinks more than any of them and smokes crack(probably while driving too). And it turns out has had a warrant out on him since before my wedding. More enabling on Richard's part. Yet he thinks he's a pillar of proper living. More like a pillar of salt. Let's give cash to a chronic drunk drug addict so he can drive around all fucked up and kill someone. But I was out of line to do whatever I had to do to get the car out of Paul's name and off my car insurance. If it was no big deal, why didn't RICHARD put the damn car in his name? And on HIS insurance? Easier to just call me the cause of all evil, I guess.
When, and if, I do respond, I will take a page from their family trait book, and be BCC-ing a copy to Richard's wife. Involving bystanders. It's always better to see the truth sooner as as opposed to later.